A parent’s balancing act: kid’s freedom versus safety

by Jessica Goodwin, 14, with contributions by Megan Maas, 16 and Dennis Bao, 12

Tragic young faces, once unknown, become known throughout the country as the media’s crime exposure increases. Some say that as a result, parents who once walked to school themselves and were out with friends until dark unsupervised are now driving their children to school, regardless of the distances, and accompanying them on trips to the park.

Others are asking, are parents and guardians giving their kids enough freedom in the face of relatively new fears?

Parents often tell their kids stories of how they were out roaming the streets with friends and neighbors, finding adventures in a patch of trees or hiding in ditches, pretending as though they were at war, and wonder why today’s kids aren’t doing the same.

Much of this may have to do with the tempting lure of technology, but some argue that it is also a symptom of parents being overly cautious. When asked if they thought their parents were overprotective, kids responded with various answers. Willie Morrison, fourteen, of Marquette, does not feel his parents are.

“ My parents let me do what I want,” he said.

Andrea Olson, thirteen, agreed for the most part.

“ It’s not like they [my parents] have to be by my side every minute of every day,” she said. “They let me have my freedom and are protective about my safety but, like I said, they’re not by my side every day and they give me a chance to show that I’m responsible and can go out on my own.”

The simple act of walking to school, which was common for kids as late as the seventies and eighties, is becoming less and less a common thing, but for different reasons. Bailey Anderson, Twelve, of Marquette, said she was able to walk when her school was very close, but when she changed schools she was not able to walk due to the distance.

Olson’s parents, however, prefer she doesn’t walk to school.

“ I can walk to school, but my parents prefer me not to because they don’t want anything to happen to me when it’s darker out,” she said. “They just want to keep me safe.”

Lenore Skenazy, a syndicated newspaper columnist, author, and also a mother of two boys, suggests that today’s kids aren’t growing up in a world of “near peril” and that parents need to work to restore the freedom of their childhoods.

Skenazy argues that raising children is no more dangerous than it was when the protective parents of today were growing up. She wonders why encouraging children to get outside, have fun, and be home by dark seems so foreign to most parents.

In her recent book, “Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry,” Skenazy explains how many American parents are in a national hysteria about their kids’ safety. This, she suggests, is fed by intense media coverage of abductions, rape, murder, and safety tips children should memorize for just about every holiday.

She does not recommend, however, that parents do not use car seats, and be uninterested about where and what their kids are doing, but she stresses that not every kid who goes out will be part of a terrifying experience.

In a recent interview for www.Salon.com on the release of her book, Skenazy pointed to the Natalie Holloway tragedy as an example of over-coverage of what could have been only a local story.

“ News crews have no compunction about spending months hanging out in Aruba or Portugal when there is a case of a young white girl stolen, and they’ll beat the story to death,” she said. “(From a child safety standpoint today,) it feels so completely different, and we’re told that it’s completely different, and frankly, when I tell people that it’s the same, nobody believes me. We’re living in really safe times, and it’s hard to believe.”

Marianne Saarivirta-Kolpack, executive director of Community Cordinated Childcare (4-C) of the U.P. also points to the national media as the likely cause for parents to limit their children’s roaming.

“ I do think that some parents are over-protective, but for good reasons…if that makes sense. As media exposure increases, as parents see things on the news, and on the Internet, they are aware of more and more dangers,” she said. “So they are going to protect those kids from those dangers, whereas, 50 years ago, when TV was brand new things weren’t as exposed."

" So, unless something major changes, with crime, or with protection, I think parents are going to continue to be over-protective of their kids and that might have to be how it is.”

Along with stifling a kid’s independence and imagination, this fear can lead to what some call Nature Deficit Disorder. David Kronk, education specialist with the National Park Service – Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, gives community presentations about the disorder, explaining that today’s children spend far less time in the outdoors than their parents or their grandparents.

A lot of people, he feels, are beginning to think it isn’t a good thing that humans are becoming less connected with nature and don’t know as much about it.

“ If ‘outside’ time does not happen naturally for a child, then it should be scheduled,” Kronk said. “I think parents need to understand that it is a valuable part of their kids education…that their kids have some time set aside every day, or every week, just to go outside and play and see what’s out there and be creative.”

Kronk also has a problem with the media hype of “Stranger Danger,” which he points out is actually just a very small percent of things that happen to kids. He suggests getting a Trac Phone for parents who are concerned, so if they’re in trouble, they can call while out just to check in.

According to Morrison, kids can do their part to assure that they get more freedom to roam as well by showing that they can be responsible with that freedom. He points out, however, that kids are never again going to have all the freedom they want.

“ Kids get more freedom as they mature so you show your parents that you are allowed to have more freedom and they let you have it,” he said. “But…then you want more. Kids are never going to have all the freedom they want…you’re always going to have some rules.”

Further reading on the topic:
Free Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry, Lenore Skenazy
Raising America: Experts, Parents and a Century of Advice About children, Ann Hulbert
www.nochildleftinside.com